Deep In Earth

I'm having a blast listening to Diru tonight. I'm reminded time and time again how amazing this band is. The whole band. The members are close to being miracles on earth for their amazing abilities and creativity. It blows my mind away. And one of the reasons why they are so awesome and precious is the way they are able to express their emotions and feelings through their songs. A guitar phrase, a drum phrase, a bass phrase, a vocal phrase, all these phrases that all these instruments make just somehow create such a sound and emotion that picks at my heart-strings. I started my playlist with Kasumi and now the blues have surfaced. By the time I got to Ranunculus, my tears just flowed out without me having to try. It's that kind of night again. Which is why I am listening to Dir en Grey.

These past few days have been pretty colourful. I started a new job as this year started and now it's the third month. As I go to work, I'm pretty cheerful because I've made good friends already at the workplace. When I come home, I'm happy as I get to rest and play games. However, the days at home were spent with much gloominess. The black thoughts have started to come back, and my heart feels tight. My wrist feels light and my muscles feel heavy. Dark thoughts are here, and I'm trying to ignore them. News that touch the heart or emotional news break my stoic front and tears began to flow. My chest hurts and my mind is filled with so much gloom. It is hormones again? I feel sad that the people I love are hurting when all I want for them is to be happy. I feel sad when people are evil to each other in the news because human beings deserve to be treated with respect and mercy. I feel sad when people ignore the genocide of fellow human beings in war-bound countrie...