Deep In Earth

I'm writing this post because I have this feeling that I have been having lately. As I get older, I keep thinking about the future. I keep thinking, when will I ever have children and have this ideal family that I wanted? Will I ever have it? Because I really can't see it. And that kind of makes me sad. Lately, I've really been wanting to have a child. But that can never happen. Sometimes, I think if I am not getting married anytime soon, I would like to adopt a child by myself. It sounds pretty sad, like I don't have faith that I will get married. Let me assure you, I do. But this feeling of having a child is so strong. I do think that I will get married in the future, but we can't really know when. It might be next year, it might be in five years, it might be in twenty years. Who knows. But I really want a child. I want a child. I want children.. But I can't have it now. I don't think people around me knows the scale of this issue that I have. Well, I...

It's the fifth week in this semester. I've had a lot of things happen since the last time I made a post. I've had some surreal dreams and they were pretty weird. I'm sure I've written a word document about some of it. These dreams are pretty vivid. They look like movies with dramatic story lines. So, I like to write them down because they have some pretty nice plot. Don't know how my brain come up with them though. I think that's pretty fascinating. My final year project isn't going anywhere right now. It's been stagnant. I am trying to get my supervisor to look over my interview questions before I can get his approval and proceed to interview my informants. I also have some assignments coming up. This week in HRIS, we were thought how to make a database in M.Access. Darn.. I couldn't understand it. It's times like this when I feel pretty helpless and useless. I get the notion that if I cannot even get myself to understand or be useful with...