a Zuriat

I'm writing this post because I have this feeling that I have been having lately. As I get older, I keep thinking about the future. I keep thinking, when will I ever have children and have this ideal family that I wanted? Will I ever have it? Because I really can't see it. And that kind of makes me sad.

Lately, I've really been wanting to have a child. But that can never happen. Sometimes, I think if I am not getting married anytime soon, I would like to adopt a child by myself. It sounds pretty sad, like I don't have faith that I will get married. Let me assure you, I do. But this feeling of having a child is so strong. I do think that I will get married in the future, but we can't really know when. It might be next year, it might be in five years, it might be in twenty years. Who knows. But I really want a child. I want a child. I want children.. But I can't have it now.

I don't think people around me knows the scale of this issue that I have. Well, I'm not exactly a person who would talk about this to people anyway. It's just, it can bring me to tears, thinking about this. But who would know how I feel better than Allah? I can only pray for the time to come, and I pray a lot about it. And I have faith that it will happen, it's just that I need to ease this feeling of mine at this time. If I calm down and get over it, I'm sure it won't be such a big deal later.

I've decided that I won't wait for anybody and I will let Allah guide me. No matter what, I have absolute faith that I am in good hands.

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