Deep In Earth

I shall write about something that I truly cherish and enjoy in this life, and that is music. Please ignore the sheer madness of these words, because I am surely mad enough to write something in this way. What is music to you? I feel music is one of the best things that could ever happen to us in this world. It truly has no boundaries. Have you ever heard a piece of music that sounds so beautiful to your ears that it touches your heart and invades your soul? Do you receive the pleasure that it emits? Have you ever cried listening to music? No words. Just the music, the sounds. I am very, very, very grateful that such brilliant composers exist to give us such wonderful delights. I have fallen in love with their beautiful music, and their talent baffles me. I cannot imagine the things that must be going on in their genius minds. You must think of me as an idiot. To be so touched by mere music that it brings me to tears. Well, I admit that I have been sentimental of late. I lov...

I haven't been very well recently. Right now, I'm typing this entry in bed. I have gastric and stomach pains. It is not fun at all. I cannot eat anything at all. I do not have an appetite for anything. Even if I want to eat something, I just do not have the appetite for it. But I am not suppose to have an empty stomach, so it is not a very good feeling. I feel nauseous and my stomach hurts. Ah. I do complain a lot. But I realize this is one of those tests and hopefully it will make me stronger in the future. Really, I have never had this kind of stomach virus or gastritis or whatever it is to this degree. Sometimes I like being sick, because then I have an excuse to stay in bed all day and read my books under the covers. But I hope I get better soon because it really is painful. I am no masochist and therefore I do not enjoy pain.

Friendship to me is very valuable. Friends are people you like and share things together. You support each other and give opinions. You help each other and love each other for who they are. I love my friends a lot. Today I get to speak with a long time friend. I haven't spoken to her for a while because she's furthering her studies in a far place from where I am. Even though sometimes I can find her somewhat annoying, hehe, but deep down I cherish her a lot. I enjoy being friends with her. We don't really have the same interests but she's the first person I made friends with when I got into secondary school. I like speaking to her. I love her a lot ^^ Sometimes, I'll be honest here, I have doubts in my heart whether or not my friends can be trusted. I mean they are very nice and all, but there are times when I lose my trust in them. However, there are really some that I can trust.  :) And my faith in humanity were restored. For the time being. So I feel ...

Lately, I've been into horror and dark things. I am really interested in all the terror. Horror movies don't really terrify me, but mangas and animes do. :) I think this is a given, since you can do all sorts of things with mangas and animes compared to live action actors. I just cannot find anything new that really terrifies me completely. I've read all Itou Junji's works, and Umezu Kazuo's. I like it a lot when horror mangas are gore with a solid storyline. I dislike it when gore mangas are just gore for the sake of gore. I like it better with a firm storyline, where the gore is necessary for the story. Yes, that's the kind that really pump blood to my cheeks. On another note, I react very loudly to movies and animes and even mangas. By loudly I mean I scream and sigh and curse throughout the story... Most of the times I shout out loud and my sister gets annoyed and angry. Then she would shout back at me to get me to be quiet. But you can never really su...

How bright the world is today, at least at the place where I live. It seems criminal to stay indoors on days like this, but I like to keep the image for as long as I can. Before dawn comes, when the sky is still a little dark and the horizons are beginning to turn grey, I wake up in my dark room. But it is never really dark, for the light of the young dawn lights through my curtains and I can see the dim surroundings. When dawn starts to break, rays of lights gradually hit my thick curtains and my room is basked in pale gold. Still, I keep the curtains closed and still, I lie in bed. This is the perfect moment, the perfect moment to pick up a good book and read it in bed. The light is still dim and grey, but bright enough for you to read the words off the pages of your book. Curled up in bed, underneath the covers, with your feet tucked neatly inside blankets and sheets, better still with a cup of hot tea, is my favourite way to read my books in the morning. But this way will bring...

I have said this before. I always say it. I keep on saying it no matter how many years have passed. Ever since I have discovered this genre, I have been tightly bound to it. Sometimes I may take a break from it for a while to listen to other genres and experience new sound, but I never really part from it for more than a week or even a few days. There's something about it that really mixes well with me. I mean, it really suits me. The problem is most people do not feel the same as I do. I really believe that they think I am somewhat weird. I am sure of it. All those songs, those melodies, those voices, those emotions, those messages, those lyrics, those intricate guitar-riffs.... I love them all. Who cares what people think, right? Just don't listen to them as long as you're happy and you're doing nothing wrong. Really, J-rock is the best. \(>w<)/

This morning, we went travelling down the road to take a visit to my dentist so that the kind man can fix my braces. It was a bright morning. My parents and I were listening to some good music when something horrible happened. It seems that a road accident had occurred. The land cruiser was fine without a scratch, but the other car was in a total wreck. The front part of the car was all smashed. I saw people gathering around the scene to help the people involved in the accident. I saw two kids were laid down on the ground; a girl and a boy. I assumed they were siblings. The father was stuck at the front and was unconscious. There was little blood, so I hope that that's a good sign. We did not stop to help because a lot of people were there already. They already did the necessary steps to do when there is an accident. I was really affected by the sight. I almost cried. Then I recalled a road accident that I witnessed when I was around 8-12 years old. A big lorry had run over a...

Today, my final exams are officially over. Now, I can finally enjoy myself without feeling any guilt. But somehow.... even though this long-awaited day has come, I cannot really decide what to do. There are a lot of things that I want to do before, but now I don't know where to start. It's kind of like that kind of feeling. I guess I'll just try to calm down and relax. I think I'll sleep for as long as I want to. Books of alternate reality and endless fantasy, you just wait for me~ I'll come to you all soon!

Looking through the posts in this little blog, I realized that recently it's been full of such negative thoughts. I am truly sorry for all of this. Looks like the exams really changed the flow of my thoughts for a while. Truthfully, I have not been inspired at all in a few months, well, in a long, long time actually. My final exams really took a toll on me mentally and emotionally. But the exams are almost over. In about 3 days they will be over at last. I am starting to accept the situation more honestly. I believe that I did what I can and God will help me in everything. I think I will have more time for blogs and tumblr soon. I am looking forward to spend days and nights watching animes, reading all those lonely books, sewing stuff, and drawing. All of the things that I have put on hold will finally be done. Restraining my self from all those guilty pleasures really was hard. Anyway, I want to listen to folk indie music again. It has been a while.

I realized that a story do not need to make sense to be an amazing story. It just needs to be believable, and it becomes a good story.

Despair.

You can never know how much I adore you and your work, Minekura Kazuya sensei. I can never express it enough. You are absolutely amazing. I adore you so much, you have such incredible talent. Keep going, sensei! And we all love you very much. :)

Mangakas are always associated with illnesses. Somehow, they get sick easily and it's not amusing when it comes to life-threatening situations. I am rejoiced to know that Kazuya Minekura-sensei is recovering from her surgery at the moment. Everything that was held on hiatus will continue anytime soon. This means more Saiyuki and more Wild Adapter and more and more and more!! I might sound pretty calm here, but I'm at the top of the world already. Right now, a river of pure joy is coming out from my sockets. Please imagine me running into the sunset with tears in my eyes. Finally..... hehehe everything will be back.... But really, sensei should rest for as long as she wants. Her health is the most important thing. Her life and well-being triumph above all else. I really hope she gets better soon and quickly, I do not like how amazing mangakas get sick. It makes me sad and anxious. Geniuses like them should be given the best the world can offer. Sensei, you have our s...

I love it. This is one of my favourite anime of all time. In fact, it could be my most favourite one. I believe it is a masterpiece with a matchless originality. First time I watched it, I was deeply intrigued by the stories and the concept. It gave this such perfectly subtle atmosphere. There are tenderness, gentleness, and cruelty in the stories. There is nothing boring about this anime, and if there are, I must have overlooked it, for everything in this anime is beautifully forgiving. Perhaps it is the charm of it. Then again, I might be one of the forgiving audience out there. The setting is very ideal and suitable, back to the time when life was simple and almost no social ills. It is perfect for the anime. Personally, this kind of setting is something that I long for. The stories are full of nostalgia, a sense of longing, serenity, goodness, beauty, pureness, innocence, despair, love, sadness, and sometimes regret. The characters are well-done, though not all of them pose such ...

Junjou na Kanjou. The first time I've heard this song was when it was the ending of Rurouni Kenshin , and I loved it a lot back then and I still do. Hideki's voice is so good, I just love his voice. And the song brings back all those memories and emotions. This is played in 2011. I just love Hideki's voice.

Seiyuus are such amazing people. I think they are not human. They're a different kind of being. How can they make and change they're voices like that? It's amazing! I sort of feel like they're a higher existence than ordinary people. Haha. Right now, I like Itou Kentaro, Sakurai Takahiro and Masakazu Morita. They're amazing. :) But really, I adore all Seiyuus. They're full of talent and possess such overwhelming abilities.

It's really 2 years too late. I just realized that I should have claimed my SPM and PMR certificate long ago. So, with the encouragement of my classmate and friend, I went to pick them up today. It took us a while, but the old lady was so sweet and patient. She helped us find all the forgotten serial numbers and stuff. As I was turning all the stained old papers printed with our names and exam numbers, I could not help but stare at my old classmates's names. I felt really nothing at first, when I was searching for my exam number for SPM, but when I searched for my PMR exam number, with all the pages worn and blacken with time, I felt this sort of painful nostalgic feeling. Especially when I saw their names. Really, I never expected to feel such sadness. When I recall all the past things that I've been through with all my classmates and friends, I feel regret. Not the sort of regret of 'if only...' or 'what if...', but rather the regret of not being able to...

I am sorry you had to see the bad side of me that I would rarely display. It was not the true me.It was a hideous face to show you, so I am sure that you feel disgusted at me. But that's not how I am. I hope you would understand. So please forgive me. Remorse is mine now.

How nice. I'm really jealous of Akito-san and Kaya-chan. I always imagined that I would be like this with my future husband. If I can't be like this around him than I doubt I shall be happy for long. Ughh, jealous! I'm so jealous! And I'm sooo happy for Saiko and Miho. I literally cried for them. ;_;

Yes, I do!! I've been reading so much manga these days, no wonder I'm having that creative streak kind of feeling... but the studying mojo is definitely gone. My bad. Reading all these manga made me realize once more that mangakas truly are geniuses. Real geniuses. The way they can bring out emotions from us with simple characters and the stories themselves......... Writing novels or stories is one thing, but to draw them out and make them interesting? That had to take a lot of effort and hard work. Well, try to find a good manga and see. How you'd laugh at their comedic expressions, how you'd feel anxious to know the outcome, how you'd feel mellow with the romance, how you'd feel terrified by the horror. Mangakas are amazing. Happy belated birthday, Souichi. Haha.

Somebody help me........................ T___T My studying mood is gone.. Right out the window..... I only have 4 months before the final exam...but I'm still playing... What should I do? God help me...

I have mixed feelings about this movie. I'm looking forward to read the book though. The cinematography is pretty nice, since I enjoy beautiful landscapes. Wasn't expecting a lot of sexuality, so that gave me kind of an impact that I did not particularly like. Anyhow, movies are supposed to give impact. I have to say, it's not my kind if movie, but I guess this kind of thing really do happen to people in reality. Can't wait to possess the book. I must have it!!

Kimi ni Todoke. Ahhh really, what a cute love story. Kuronuma Sawako is so naive. I like stories like this, very innocent, pure love. Wouldn't it be nice to have Kazehaya-kun? Such a cute couple. ^__^

Wonderful movie. Brought me to tears. I bet the manga and anime are way better than the movie, but I am pretty impressed with it. Love all the characters. I love Nakama Yukie and Odagiri Joe. Now, I want to read the manga. I need to read the manga. This story is just too great to be ignored.

Is it fine to have such impossible dreams? It might sound pretty nice but will there ever be even a little bit of conformation or indication that you will definitely achieve it? I fear for the future. However, I do not intend to abandon my dreams, even how preposterous it may seem. Just... a little anxious. And I'm fully aware that it will bring me utter despair to have broken dreams. So, I must be careful.

here in my heart memories linger i hold them sacred safe from all others angel's tale you're part of me, we're melting into each other life's mysteries, no - none of it seems to matter i can feel i can feel i can feel

Being in form 6 is hard. Harder than I had imagined. Harder than I expected it to be. I understood that it was a higher level of education - my sis told me that it's one of the hardest exams in the world - but I never thought it would be so hard like this. I have thought, why am I such an idiot to join form 6? It is suicide. I know I am weak, and yet I joined it. Perhaps, I wanted to challenge myself at the time. I wanted to know my limits and what I can do. I am not being conceited, but I know that I can pass, if only I wasn't lazy. Everybody needs the studying mojo to study, and I am lacking it most of the time. I guess being a literature or art student is okay, but being a science student is exceptionally difficult. Especially when you are weak in science subjects, of course. I like biology and got an A for that in spm, but I am defenseless when it comes to math and chemistry. These two subjects are like wars in which I have not enough soldiers or weapons to fight with. I ...

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I've watched this movie about this particular forbidden love. How my heart breaks for Riku. He's sort of the villain in all of it, but he's just a lost boy who kept an unrequited love for his friend. All those years, and everything was over when his loved one died. It was painful to see him suffering all by himself, since he never told anyone. Oh, poor Riku! poor Riku! I feel like giving him a big hug so he can cry all that hatred and anger away. He loved his friend so much for so long, but his friend loved someone else and died for someone else. How pitiful. It's nobody's fault, Riku. You don't need to blame it on other people(though I understood why he would). Dear Riku, it's okay to express it. Don't hold it in. It'll be better if you'd let go of the hate and anger.

I feel better now after entering this blog:  Creepy + Pasta . Looks like strange things could really help with anger and dealing with emotions. Plus some dark chocolates. But I dislike this one a bit, there's a lot more stories that seem fictional than stories that seem real. Looks like this blog focuses on fictional stories rather than factual ones. Yappari, Saya  is still the BEST.

It is my final year in school. I have to honestly say that my results are definitely not that good. I have less than 200 days left before my final exam and I feel absolutely anxious. I'm a nervous wreck. Usually, I feel fine most of the time but my mood is really changeable and unexpected. Well, that goes without saying for being a Cancer sign. I get angry at any annoyance at school and talk it out in my brain. Being a girl, I am expected to help around the house and I do. But this year, I asked my mother to ease out all the house chores for me, just let me do simple ones because time for everything is important to me. She agreed and for some time it went on like we agreed, but nowadays she's asking me to do more chores. I do it anyway because she's my mother and she needs help since she's working, but the thing that I don't get is that I am not the only daughter. I have two other sisters that are perfectly sane and healthy to help around the house but they are not ...

English movies always show the moors. I gathered that by definition, it is a bleak landscape where there are few or no trees at all, and few vegetation. I have to say, I fell in love with moors. Yes, they are bleak but beautiful. When the heather blooms, everything is just so magnificent. I've never been to a moor before, but I made a promise to myself to go to one when I get the chance. Heck, I would LOVE to live near one. All images belong to their owners. They were taken from  here .

Oh God. This is a problem that only the extra-terrestrial forces can handle. I think laziness can be a good thing especially when you're the speedy type, the type of person that feels the need to do everything at once. Being lazy can be nice because we need to stop and breathe and relax and do nothing for a change. In my case, however, it's becoming an epidemic. It will prove to be a fatal blow for me if I don't do something about it. I have exams coming soon, but I still dilly dally and wander away in my thoughts and do stupid stuff like watching videos, even though I acknowledge the absolute importance of studying. I want to study, I want to do my homework, but I simply refuse to. I don't know why, this laziness has dragged me into this dark hole that will surely be my deathtrap if I let it. It is going to ruin me. Therefore, I hope the divine forces would have the mercy and pity to help me, since I am unable to do this myself. Oh wish me luck.

So I went to another town just for a little day trip. I visited the bookstore and found, lo and behold, a hardcover book titled 'Watership Down'. I was prepared to buy it, prepared to abandon all the other books that I was holding in my hands to buy, if it proves to be expensive. I grabbed at it, inspected it, and felt all gloomy. It was in bad shape. The cover was a little bit dirty and some of the edges of the cover were torn. The top had a mark where somebody carelessly blemished with a permanent marker. Feeling discouraged but determined, I asked the bookstore clerk if they had another copy that I could buy. He checked for me and said it was the last copy. I thought about buying it, but I dislike books that are dirty. It's okay if it's an old book or the price is cheap, but I'm certainly not going to buy a torn book with the price of a perfectly presentable one. With a heavy heart, I had to let it go and hope for another encounter with a book with the same tit...

I've been into horror/ghost stories lately. Especially ones from Japan.Things in Japan are always so bizarre and out of the ordinary. One of their attractive features. I've been reading real-life murders in Japan too, pretty weird and strange, I have to say. SAYA IN UNDERWORLD . Whenever I feel like getting a bit of thrill. I visit her blog. It's spectacular. Love the posts here. But she's been very busy that she updates less these days, if not ever. It's understandable, everyone is busy nowadays, but the contents in her blog never fail to create chills down your spine. She works hard to translate them for her viewers and I appreciate her for that. Reading all these horror stories has made me become paranoid and odd. Every glimpse of the eye or every odd sound will make my head go wild. Just now, I thought I saw a head at the corner of my eye on my bedside table, turns out that it's only one of my stuffed doll rabbits. Haha. Can you believe it? These stories...

There are no words in my vocabulary that can be used to express the sheer awesomeness and level of pure greatness in this live. I am not being dramatic, well maybe, they've held better lives than this, I think, and they always create such amazing lives, like the 15th L'Anniversary. I think that was the best live they've held. But here at Madison Square Garden, it's definitely a different feel to it. They are the first Japanese Band to play at the arena, and I'm a PROUD fan for that. I got to watch this live in youtube in the middle of the night, so I'll express how I feel right here. The intro was amazing. Visuals were spectacular. When Hyde started to sing Ibara no Namida, my senses were awoken. It was one of the dearest songs that I've kept in my heart. I don't need to comment on the band's playing, because they were in the heavens, as usual. When Drink It Down played, my excitement was aroused. It was a marvel. Sometime after that they suddenly...

I just randomly watched a Barclays Premier League today on Wolves vs Bolton and there was a tight scene where the Wolves were about to score a goal, the ball was going at the right direction, to the pole. A player, Ryo number 30, was just miraculously waiting at the pole by chance and kicked the ball away. If it hadn't been for him, Wolves could have scored a goal. I got interested and googled him. I can't help but think how impressive Miyaichi Ryo was. He's very young, just one year older than me, but he had achieved so much and got wonderful reviews from all those managers. He's incredible. He is my favourite football player now. hehe :D

The movie is marvelous. I love the movie. But the thing that I love more than the movie is the book, which I randomly found the other day! From what I've seen in the movie, John Le Carre did a wonderful job. Well done to Tomas Alfredson too. I have not read it yet, I haven't even opened the plastic cover, but I plan to next year. Right now I need to focus on my studies, but there are so many beautiful books to buy and read, so I'm just hoarding them at the moment. I love Gary Oldman on the cover. :)

I used to despise travelling by car. I have car sickness so it was not much fun, especially on bumpy roads. But I've enjoyed it recently, watching the little farms, plantations and the beautiful forests with their gorgeous trees... Not to mention that everything is bathe in sunlight. The key to battle car sicknesses is to enjoy the scenery. I don't mind facing the sun, the warmth is invigorating, but I do mind getting a tan. It's not for me. :)

I'm sure I am not the only one feeling things like this. I think I need to write all of this down. *Spoiler alert* How can someone be so engrossed into something that one is not even related to, not even connected, not even experiencing, and it seems one does, and it becomes so important, more important than anything else? It defines you, and you rely on it, you depend on it, and it gives you everything, it makes you feel everything, it frees you, it captivates you, it's your mind, it's your heart, your life. I don't really know how to express this properly into words. I think no word can describe this thing exactly how I meant it but I'm going to try. I love to watch movies. I love movies. I can reliably say that I am passionate about movies. And I love all those talented actors and actresses. Sometimes I get too attached to the characters in a movie or a book that their feelings simply affect me so deeply. It helps if the words are beautifully written in ...

I have some problems. I buy books all the time, I've spent most of my pocket money on books, I have a mountain of books lying in my room, I cannot possibly read all of them when I'm still studying at the moment, and these books ALWAYS tempt me to pick them and read them, and I acknowledge all these problems but I still buy more books. more penguin books... and some more classics... I must be a hoarder.

As requested. This is for you. the dawn breaks the birds awake the sun shines and worlds entwine the mother cooks the baby cry the horses run the rabbits hum the lions roar the eagles soar the bears go searching herbs galore the dusk comes forth and brings the frost the trees are bending with the windling Orion arrives and shoots the sky the stars go pouring in our eyes the sleep devours and beds are laid the cycle turns and back again.

i've never been a fan of folk music, but i'm starting to really like them nowadays. i think they're very simple but so full of emotion and meaning. i love all the woodland titles, scenic imagery and such casual romantic lyrics. like music you would play and sing to a sweetheart on a sudden whim, yet it's full of honest expressions and significance. i think most of them are easy and pleasurable to sing to. i just like the sound of acoustic guitars paired with a great voice and good poetry. or just good music. like The Blower's Daughter by Damien Rice. or Follow You Down To The Red Oak Tree by James Vincent McMorrow. and all of Screamworks' acoustics are wonderful. i just love them. :)

long ago, when i was a lot younger, maybe 5 to 7 years old, i watched this particular movie about rabbits, that i really liked, i remember that i liked it, and i would sometimes see some scenes from it in my dreams. but i never knew the name of the movie, so ever since i found out that the internet can be used to find these kinds of stuff, i tried to find it, only in vain, and it didn't help that i soon forgot about it. and this weekend, i found out about it! only to know that it was actually rather provocatively scary for little children. hmm. it really was scary. i watched the trailer, to confirm it, and even now i think it was a really horrifying movie for little kids... nevertheless, i was thrilled to finally find it after all these years, and i'm reliving all the nostalgic moments that i saw in the movie. i felt sad, scared, compassionate, and cuddly happy. i can finally watch Watership Down all over again. and i have to get the book. i just have to get it.

Yup, i've got new books! my sister gave me a little token of her appreciation for taking care of little babies, so i've got this certain amount of money to spend on whatever i want. of course, i go for new books. earlier, i had a vision that the popular store will have new penguin books, so there i went with my money, and sure enough there were new books. however, they weren't penguins, but collins! they were relatively as cheap as penguin books, so i bought a number of them. my other sis helped me to pay with 2 extra books, since my money wasn't enough. :) i always wanted to read these, especially Inferno. i think i'm lucky to find these beautiful masterpieces.