Art in Me
It's a rainy day today. I'm thankful for that because the days have been pretty hot.
I needed to write about art.
Since I was a kid, I love to draw and I wanted to be a painter. I love art. You know sometimes in school teachers will give you cards to fill in your details and write down your dream occupation? I wrote that I wanted to be a painter. One day my teacher calls me over and asked about it. I said I really liked to draw and I remember I was very shy about it. I wasn't any good at art actually but I love drawing a lot. My teacher told me about something like the future needs engineers and doctors and that I should think about my dream occupation. When I didn't the teacher encouraged me again to change it. If I remember correctly, she basically told me to write it over. Change it. So I did and I wrote down 'veterinarian'.
Everyone seemed pleased. My parents had hopes for me to become a vet.
In high school I was in science stream and studied biology, chemistry, physics, additional maths and all that. I love to learn about science, but I wasn't good at math. Yeah, high school math is pretty simple actually now that I think about it, but my brain was wired differently. I just can't get good grades for math. I actually got good grades for biology but the rest of the science stuff... I tried to stay afloat. I wanted to add art into the subjects that I was learning but the teachers were against it. They wanted me to focus on science because they said that usually people in the school didn't have good grades in biology and because I did have good grades, somehow they believed that I could do better. I remember feeling very dejected, disappointed, sad. I think I might have cried. Art was something I wanted to do very much and people did not support me for it. My friends definitely noticed my love for drawing and liked to give praises but that was not what I wanted.
I abandoned drawing and painting for quite a while. I needed to focus on my studies because I was getting my A-levels and was studying advanced mathematics. I have to say that I tried very hard to pass. Alhamdulillah, I did pass. But in some way, it traumatized me. I hardened up for it and I remember that I had to kick myself aside to study and pass those tests.
Now I am a university student studying something I am interested in but it is not my passion. I am the type of person to need to like to do something and if not, I don't want to waste my time on it. I don't think what I've been doing is a waste of time, but I sure wish I could study art. I get very jealous looking at fine art students making art. They say it is very hard which I am sure it is because I can relate to them, but I envy them so much. But it is my choice to please my family more than to achieve my dreams.
Lately, I have been taking up pencils to draw again, Nothing grand, just stupid sketches. I found out that I am actually better at still-life. I am not good enough to draw by memory, but I think I can sketch still-life okay. For the past few weeks I have been having this itch to paint. I went to the store to buy acrylic paint and supplies. I am not a good painter, colourist or whatever. I am sure I am not a good artist but I love to do art. I love to draw and paint. I really do. There's this feeling that I have now that wants me to keep painting. I want to paint all day.
Now, that is going to be a problem because the new semester is starting very soon and I am not in the right mindset. Instead of getting ready to learn new stuff and do my final year project, I am thinking about painting and doing art. I need to do it. I am trying to suppress it before it continues on and on.
I want to keep doing art and paint and draw as much as I want to. Art is very important to me and I feel kind of glad that a lot of people feel that way. I mean, I am not a very good artist. I wouldn't be able to get into art school with the art I make but I love doing it. I feel thankful for the people a.k.a bands that tell me to keep doing art and be myself. It makes me happy to find people who actually encourages me to do art because when I was growing up, nobody really supported me. And I believe that it actually scarred me in a way. I hope that one day I won't do that to anybody else and just keep making art.
I needed to write about art.
Since I was a kid, I love to draw and I wanted to be a painter. I love art. You know sometimes in school teachers will give you cards to fill in your details and write down your dream occupation? I wrote that I wanted to be a painter. One day my teacher calls me over and asked about it. I said I really liked to draw and I remember I was very shy about it. I wasn't any good at art actually but I love drawing a lot. My teacher told me about something like the future needs engineers and doctors and that I should think about my dream occupation. When I didn't the teacher encouraged me again to change it. If I remember correctly, she basically told me to write it over. Change it. So I did and I wrote down 'veterinarian'.
Everyone seemed pleased. My parents had hopes for me to become a vet.
In high school I was in science stream and studied biology, chemistry, physics, additional maths and all that. I love to learn about science, but I wasn't good at math. Yeah, high school math is pretty simple actually now that I think about it, but my brain was wired differently. I just can't get good grades for math. I actually got good grades for biology but the rest of the science stuff... I tried to stay afloat. I wanted to add art into the subjects that I was learning but the teachers were against it. They wanted me to focus on science because they said that usually people in the school didn't have good grades in biology and because I did have good grades, somehow they believed that I could do better. I remember feeling very dejected, disappointed, sad. I think I might have cried. Art was something I wanted to do very much and people did not support me for it. My friends definitely noticed my love for drawing and liked to give praises but that was not what I wanted.
I abandoned drawing and painting for quite a while. I needed to focus on my studies because I was getting my A-levels and was studying advanced mathematics. I have to say that I tried very hard to pass. Alhamdulillah, I did pass. But in some way, it traumatized me. I hardened up for it and I remember that I had to kick myself aside to study and pass those tests.
Now I am a university student studying something I am interested in but it is not my passion. I am the type of person to need to like to do something and if not, I don't want to waste my time on it. I don't think what I've been doing is a waste of time, but I sure wish I could study art. I get very jealous looking at fine art students making art. They say it is very hard which I am sure it is because I can relate to them, but I envy them so much. But it is my choice to please my family more than to achieve my dreams.
Lately, I have been taking up pencils to draw again, Nothing grand, just stupid sketches. I found out that I am actually better at still-life. I am not good enough to draw by memory, but I think I can sketch still-life okay. For the past few weeks I have been having this itch to paint. I went to the store to buy acrylic paint and supplies. I am not a good painter, colourist or whatever. I am sure I am not a good artist but I love to do art. I love to draw and paint. I really do. There's this feeling that I have now that wants me to keep painting. I want to paint all day.
Now, that is going to be a problem because the new semester is starting very soon and I am not in the right mindset. Instead of getting ready to learn new stuff and do my final year project, I am thinking about painting and doing art. I need to do it. I am trying to suppress it before it continues on and on.
I want to keep doing art and paint and draw as much as I want to. Art is very important to me and I feel kind of glad that a lot of people feel that way. I mean, I am not a very good artist. I wouldn't be able to get into art school with the art I make but I love doing it. I feel thankful for the people a.k.a bands that tell me to keep doing art and be myself. It makes me happy to find people who actually encourages me to do art because when I was growing up, nobody really supported me. And I believe that it actually scarred me in a way. I hope that one day I won't do that to anybody else and just keep making art.
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