MCR and The Black Parade
I am going to jump right to it. Gerard posted a selfie on Instagram and I got really emotional. I love him and the band a lot and I think I needed to write this stuff somewhere to somehow get it off my chest. Hopefully, this post is going to be honest.
I have been a fan of MCR since I was a teenager perhaps 13 to 12 years ago. When I discovered them, I wasn't really a music fan as I am now, but as some time went by they became one of my most important bands. Helena was the first song I heard from them as I was instantly hooked. I needed their sound in my life, if that makes any sense. I thought that Gerard was a little crazy, but his craziness was something I needed and adored. They were different but confident in who they truly are. In some way, and I can say this with truth and confidence, Gerard Way is a genius and combined with Ray Toro, another genius, Frank and Mikey, talented prodigies, and may I include Matt, I thought they were what we needed. They were a great driving force and they surely helped developed who I am today.
I never identified myself as emo at the time, I just identified with their sound and their music. I loved them a lot and my favourite song from them is Ghost of You. But thinking back about it, I did wear a lot of black clothes (not saying that this is what makes people emo or whatever). In fact, I can say that I wore ONLY black clothes, all the time. One time, I even showed one of close friends about the music I like and the things I was into, and she actually told me I was an emo. At the time I was like, "What is that? What's emo? No, I'm not emo, I just like these stuff".Well whatever, this part is insignificant.
The band meant a lot to me even if I never realized it myself. They helped me a lot and I had tremendous fun loving them and their work. When the band broke up, I couldn't believe it, but at the time I was struggling with some life decisions that I couldn't properly mourn them. After some time I eventually accepted it and went on with my life. I was away from all the break-up commotion when the band official ended in 2013 because I was very busy with school. Gerard got very active on Twitter and I love him all the more for it.
After I had some time to think about them and what their music meant to me, it seems that my emotions caught up with me and initiated grief mode. I was suddenly very devastated and I missed them so much. I wanted nothing more than see them together again like before. Dare I say, I couldn't really function very well as a human being for weeks because I missed them so much. I realized they meant a lot to me more than I ever know. I had accepted the demise of the band, but I was in a late denial. I couldn't bear people in the internet bringing it up because my feelings would start to stir. Sound very stupid, right? I thought time had buried that feeling I had when the band announced their break up... But I guess it hasn't. I just piled some time on it before it got any bigger and after I found it back, it's here to let me fully feel what was happening. I love that band and the boys with all my heart. In some sense, they mean the world to me.
So fast forward and suddenly a video was uploaded on their Youtube Channel, on Twitter, places... I CRIED. It triggered all this grief that I am feeling. I watched that video and my tears were streaming down with no caution at all. I was in disbelief, hopeful, confused, I thought that this isn't happening. People started talking about a reunion and I just got hopeful, but then angry. Because the band had said that MCR is never going to be anymore. Gerard is happy and he won't do the band anymore. Frank said that they are not hiding anything and the reunion rumours are false. Frank is an honest person and I believed him. As much as I wanted them to be back, we have to face it that the members of the band just isn't going to do the band anymore. I also felt like just because everyone wants them to be reunite, they aren't going to do it because they do stuff that people don't expect them to do. They do their own thing and I knew that.
I am glad they put out an Anniversary album. But I am reminded that they are no longer a band together and I miss them a lot. People will say to chill, that it's just a band, they are more important things in life. And I agree, but they aren't just a band to me. They helped me a lot and I love them a lot. It doesn't matter that they will never know how much they mean to me or that they will never know I exist. The thing is, they mean a lot to me.
I have been a fan of MCR since I was a teenager perhaps 13 to 12 years ago. When I discovered them, I wasn't really a music fan as I am now, but as some time went by they became one of my most important bands. Helena was the first song I heard from them as I was instantly hooked. I needed their sound in my life, if that makes any sense. I thought that Gerard was a little crazy, but his craziness was something I needed and adored. They were different but confident in who they truly are. In some way, and I can say this with truth and confidence, Gerard Way is a genius and combined with Ray Toro, another genius, Frank and Mikey, talented prodigies, and may I include Matt, I thought they were what we needed. They were a great driving force and they surely helped developed who I am today.
I never identified myself as emo at the time, I just identified with their sound and their music. I loved them a lot and my favourite song from them is Ghost of You. But thinking back about it, I did wear a lot of black clothes (not saying that this is what makes people emo or whatever). In fact, I can say that I wore ONLY black clothes, all the time. One time, I even showed one of close friends about the music I like and the things I was into, and she actually told me I was an emo. At the time I was like, "What is that? What's emo? No, I'm not emo, I just like these stuff".Well whatever, this part is insignificant.
The band meant a lot to me even if I never realized it myself. They helped me a lot and I had tremendous fun loving them and their work. When the band broke up, I couldn't believe it, but at the time I was struggling with some life decisions that I couldn't properly mourn them. After some time I eventually accepted it and went on with my life. I was away from all the break-up commotion when the band official ended in 2013 because I was very busy with school. Gerard got very active on Twitter and I love him all the more for it.
After I had some time to think about them and what their music meant to me, it seems that my emotions caught up with me and initiated grief mode. I was suddenly very devastated and I missed them so much. I wanted nothing more than see them together again like before. Dare I say, I couldn't really function very well as a human being for weeks because I missed them so much. I realized they meant a lot to me more than I ever know. I had accepted the demise of the band, but I was in a late denial. I couldn't bear people in the internet bringing it up because my feelings would start to stir. Sound very stupid, right? I thought time had buried that feeling I had when the band announced their break up... But I guess it hasn't. I just piled some time on it before it got any bigger and after I found it back, it's here to let me fully feel what was happening. I love that band and the boys with all my heart. In some sense, they mean the world to me.
So fast forward and suddenly a video was uploaded on their Youtube Channel, on Twitter, places... I CRIED. It triggered all this grief that I am feeling. I watched that video and my tears were streaming down with no caution at all. I was in disbelief, hopeful, confused, I thought that this isn't happening. People started talking about a reunion and I just got hopeful, but then angry. Because the band had said that MCR is never going to be anymore. Gerard is happy and he won't do the band anymore. Frank said that they are not hiding anything and the reunion rumours are false. Frank is an honest person and I believed him. As much as I wanted them to be back, we have to face it that the members of the band just isn't going to do the band anymore. I also felt like just because everyone wants them to be reunite, they aren't going to do it because they do stuff that people don't expect them to do. They do their own thing and I knew that.
I am glad they put out an Anniversary album. But I am reminded that they are no longer a band together and I miss them a lot. People will say to chill, that it's just a band, they are more important things in life. And I agree, but they aren't just a band to me. They helped me a lot and I love them a lot. It doesn't matter that they will never know how much they mean to me or that they will never know I exist. The thing is, they mean a lot to me.
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